Home
What is it? Where is it? Who gets to have it? Why is it hard to leave?
When I think of home I also think of the lack of affordable housing and homelessness. The state of our shelters, lack thereof, and minimal funding. Those displaced by war, bombs, disease, escaping violence in seek of a better home. I reviewed some statistics from the National Alliance to End Homelessness and I understood that homelessness increased in the US by 18% from 2023 to 2024. This increase was attributed to the affordable housing crisis, rising costs of living, and an increase in first-time homelessness. This reflection, well I want to honor and hold space for all of this, all of the ways that human beings are impacted by this piece of our lives, “home.”
My grandma used to call me her “gypsy grandchild” because my mom moved me around a lot. She wanted to create humor from our frequent moves and my struggle with changes in schools. (I don’t think she knew that word was a derogatory racial slur against Romani people and I didn't know at the time to tell her). I changed schools eight times in twelve years and I became a professional packer/mover/boxer upper. Home looked like a lot of different places for me and my idea of what a home was changed a lot.
As I stumbled onto my own feet at seventeen home looked like some periods of couch-surfing and basement make shift rooms with sheets thumb-tacked into the boards covering the insulation. As time progress it shifted to rented bedrooms and attics, teeny cramped apartments, shared living spaces, bigger apartments, a whole house with my name on the deed, and then apartments again. I am grateful always for all the ways I have been housed and kept warm. It is no small thing to have shelter.
Hard to leave
Earlier this week my massage therapist was working on my hips after I told her I had been having a lot of pain lately. After some time she said, “Are you planning a big move?” I could not believe that she got that from my hip tightness BUT I also love when I get to experience wonder. I told her that I was considering a big move to Portugal at some point in my future. I told her how much this was bringing up for me and the ways I felt tethered to New York. I told her that I was a New Yorker and New York was home to me. A whole state as home? Sometimes yes it feels that way. I’ve lived in a bunch of different parts of it. I love it. I love that I know how to get around, which restaurants I love, where the best hikes are for my dog. I love that my friends and family are here! I love that I can drive past mostly all of the houses and apartments I used to call home on any given day. AND I feel deeply drawn to explore this world, curious about all it has to offer, interested in what I might find. On the other hand and to put it plainly staying here doesn’t always feel the best for my nervous system in the state of things and I wonder what a change might bring me. I am still mulling all of this over while trying to practice some more hip stretching. I have not come to a grand decision yet, time will tell. So sweet readers I am bringing this topic here this week to invite your reflections on home.
An invitation to unpack
I invite you to choose a prompt, explore it in short response, story, poetry, drawing, whatever calls to you. Maybe you define certain things as shelter and only places with specific emotional connections as home.
What has home meant to you?
How many places have you called home? What was your favorite?
What did you imagine home would be when you were little?
Have periods of homelessness impacted you?
Have you considered a big move from a place you call home? What came up for you?
What makes it hard to leave home? What do you love about returning?
Thank you for reading <3